


How (Not) To Flirt

by TheMockingDahila



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kraglin, Baby Groot, Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Flirting, Groot - Freeform, Kraglin Obfonteri - Freeform, Mantis - Freeform, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11924403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingDahila/pseuds/TheMockingDahila
Summary: Kraglin has a problem and the problem is named Mantis. She's so cute but he can't talk to her. So what does he do? He takes Peter's advice instead of listening to Gamora and tries to use pick-up lines.Really, really, really bad pick-up lines.





	How (Not) To Flirt

 

Kraglin looked down at the cards in his hands and glanced up. Mantis had Groot on her lap, smiling down at the young tree. For a second, Kraglin started to rethink this.  Peter had given him advice and so had Gamora. Peter had told him that in order to impress Mantis, he had to be suave. Women liked men who were sauve. Gamora, on the other hand, said Peter was being full of himself and that the best way to impress a woman was to just be yourself. 

 

Kraglin wasn’t one hundred percent sure if Gamora was right. Kraglin wasn’t good looking like Peter was. He had some muscles but he wasn’t as strong as Drax. Rocket had more skill when it came to creating weapons and Groot was adorable. Kraglin was just Kraglin. And Mantis? Mantis was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his life.

 

While she was a bit slow, Mantis was the sweetest creature in the galaxy. She was always smiling and she was kind to everyone. She even liked Nebula. Kraglin had avoided her touch because he was afraid she’d find out about his feelings for her. He knew she would reject him. She’d probably even laugh.

 

Exhaling, Kraglin marched into the kitchen. He coughed awkwardly and Mantis looked up at him.

 

“Oh, hello Kraglin!” She said with a dazzling smile.

 

“Hi,” Kraglin looked at one of the cards. “Um--guess what I’m wearing?”

 

“Guess?” Mantis looked at him. “You’re wearing your boots, your leather outfit and--”

 

“The smile you gave me.”

 

Wow, that was terrible. How did Peter do this? There was a beat of silence. Mantis stared at him but she smiled again. Groot looked at Mantis and then at Kraglin. Kraglin wondered if the tree understood what was happening. He prayed the tree was too young to understand.

 

“I gave you a smile? Did you like it?” She asked.

 

“Um--yeah,” Kraglin flipped through the cards. “If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.”

 

“What is a Santa?”

 

“I’m---not really sure,” Kraglin gulped. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.”

 

“Why? The alphabet is fine the way it is.”

 

“Well---I---um---” He was crashing and burning. “You are so sweet you could put Hershey's out of business.

 

“Hershey’s?” Mantis cocked her head.

 

Wow, he was failing at this. Kraglin began to shake, his heart beating like mad. Groot crawled onto Mantis’ shoulder and whispered into her ear. Her eyes went wide.

 

“Really? Oh!” Mantis’ face turned red. “Kraglin, are these pick up lines?”

 

“Um---maybe?”

 

“You use them to attract mates?”

 

Oh shit, Groot knew about pick-up lines. He was doomed. Kraglin wanted to die. This was the most embarrassing moment of his life. He wanted to jump out the airlock and die. Before he could hightail it out of the room, Mantis grabbed his hand. Instantly, Kraglin’s face turned bright red. Mantis held it and her face lit up. 

 

“Kraglin, you find me pretty?” She asked hopefully.

 

There was no use in lying. Kraglin nodded. Mantis smiled and leaned over, kissing Kraglin’s cheek. For a second, Kraglin barely process what had just happened. He hadn’t been kissed by anything but a bot in years. Groot hopped down into Kraglin’s hand and grabbed the cards. He tore them up and threw the bits of paper to the ground.

 

“I am Groot!”

 

“Groot says pick-up lines are stupid and that it’s better if you’re honest with your feelings.”

 

“Yeah,” Kraglin glanced at the paper on the ground. “I think Gamora and Groot are right.”

“Who told you to use the lines on me?”

 

“Peter.”

 

“I am Groot!” Groot shook his head.

 

“I agree. Peter probably isn’t the best person to ask about romantic endeavors.”

 

“So---do you like soup?” Kraglin asked.

 

“I have yet to try soup.”

 

“I could make some of you.”

 

“I would like that.”

 

“I am Groot?”

 

“We’ll make some soup for you too Groot.” 


End file.
